Pain therapy

Just sit in there beeing miserable,
there´s nothing you can do,
there`s nothing you can posibly do.

there`s no reasons nor entertainments left,
it´s saturday ridiculously early
you are laying in a pile of remorse, guilt and shame.
But you did nothing wrong, didnt you?

That life he´s having,
it was supposed to be your´s,
He had the watercolors and you got a travel goddamn ticket to your old home.

It was a long way.

In the depths of the sorrow you buried all his nicest gestures
hoping that  if he`d become a monster you could finally hate him like he deserves.

There´s no painkillers you can get
you´ll have to live with it,
face this soul cancer
like a tiny tender herb against desertic sunlight.

No line you can write,
no color you can paint
no tv series you can watch
no man you can sleep with
is gonna take away that what you must feel.

Pain is your destiny.

                                              "Q train" Nigel Van Wieck (1990)